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baby crying
(this article
used by courtesy of Alabama
Cooperative Extension Service.)
Infant Crying - I'm trying to
tell you something
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Being a
parent can be one of the most
satisfying jobs we will do. It can
also be one of the hardest. One of
the first challenges new parents
face is how to deal with a crying
baby. Crying is a normal, everyday
event in the lives of most babies.
Since they can't talk right away,
crying is the only way babies have
to communicate that they need
something. But even though we know
crying is natural, it can still be
stressful and upsetting. Learning
more about why infants cry can
help you feel more patient and
confident and do a better job of
meeting the needs of your baby.
For Babies,
Crying Is Communicating
- Crying is the most important
way babies have of
communicating their needs.
Babies don't have spoken words
to tell us what they need or
like or feel. Instead, they
have a language all their own.
Feet-kicking, hand-waving,
head-turning, and different
kinds of cries are the
"words." Since
adults speak a different
language, it can be tricky at
first to figure out what a
crying baby is saying. Dealing
with a crying infant is most
upsetting when you can't
understand what your baby
needs or can't make the crying
stop. However, with
observation, patience, and the
experience of trying different
things, you can learn a lot
about what your baby is saying
with his cries.
- Infants cry some of the
time. Some infants cry very
little while others cry a
great deal. Some are easy to
calm, while others can be more
difficult to soothe. Some
babies cry very intensely
while others whimper. Babies
may differ in how they cry,
but why they cry is almost
always for the same general
reason: they need something.
Babies cry when they are
hungry or sick. They cry when
they feel uncomfortable, like
when they are wet or too hot
or too cold. Babies cry if
they are lonely, bored, or
tired, and when they are in
pain. You can learn to
recognize many of these cries
and give the baby prompt
attention.
- Situations make it harder
for you to understand what the
baby is trying to tell you.
For example, the cries of a
baby who was born several
months too early are sometimes
harder to figure out than
those of full-term babies. A
baby who is sick may have a
cry that is harder to
understand than the cry of a
healthy baby. Still, even in
these circumstances, you can
learn to understand what the
baby needs.
When Crying
Is Hard To Figure Out
- Sometimes babies cry for
reasons that even the most
sensitive parents cannot
understand. When you have
figured out that the baby is
not hungry, wet, sick, hot,
cold, bored, tired, or in
pain, try other things to help
your baby feel better.
(Remember that whatever you
try may not work immediately.
Give your baby time to notice
the change and calm down.
Then, if it doesn't work, try
something else.)
- Play some soft music.
- Pat her back and let her
hear your soothing voice.
- Let her listen to a
repeating sound, such as a
low thumping noise or an
electric shaver.
- Walk with her.
- Rock her.
- Hum or sing to her.
- Fill a hot water bottle
with warm (not hot!) water
and lay it next to her.
- Try a pacifier, or help
her find her thumb to suck
on.
- Try to bring up a bubble
with gentle burping.
- Change the position of
the baby:
- Cradle him, face up,
in your arms at
different angles.
- Prop him upright so
he looks over your
shoulder.
- Hold him in front of
you with his back to
your stomach.
- Lay him on his
stomach across your
lap.
- Taking the time to
understand your baby's cries
will pay off later. We know
that a baby who has her needs
met in a sensitive,
appropriate way in the first
few months is more likely to
cry less later. Responding
promptly to your baby's cries
is not going to create a
spoiled child. In fact, it
will actually promote her
development in important ways.
It will also help her to feel
that her world is safe and
predictable.
-
-
Constant
Crying
- Sometimes, no matter
what parents do, they
cannot seem to soothe
their infants. Often
people call this kind of
constant crying
"colic." We
still don't know exactly
what causes colic. Some
think a colicky baby has
gas, indigestion, or food
allergies. Others think
colic happens when the
baby is fed too much or
too little. It's important
to realize that you are
not to blame for a baby's
constant crying. It's also
important to remember that
babies don't cry to annoy
us or because they think
we are bad parents. Babies
are not capable of
thinking these things.
Nevertheless, you are
likely to find yourself
feeling frustrated and
angry or guilty. This
tension can build to the
point where you feel you
are at your wit's end. At
this point there are
several things you can do:
- Take a break. Have
someone else take care
of the baby for a
while if that's
possible. Otherwise,
put the baby in a
comfortable and safe
place, such as a crib,
and then walk away and
let the child cry
while you calm down.
- Try carrying the
baby around in a
carrying pouch or
moving with the baby
in a soothing,
rhythmic activity. Let
the baby know you love
her and want her to
feel better.
- Remind yourself of
the times during the
day when your baby
didn't cry.
- Remember to tell
yourself that it will
not always be like
this. Babies usually
recover from being
colicky by the time
they are about 3
months old. Finally,
no matter how upset
you feel, do not grab
or shake the baby.
This will not stop the
crying and it can
cause severe injury or
even death.
It
Takes Two To Communicate
- It takes two people to
communicate – one to
talk and the other to
listen. Parents must
listen and be observant to
discover what their
infants are saying. Just
like babies, parents also
differ in their abilities
to communicate. Some
parents find it is easy to
understand what their
babies need. Others
- find it harder. Several
things make it harder for
an adult to listen and
understand. Sometimes,
when parents don't have
much experience with
babies, they become
impatient and frustrated
and stop trying to
understand what the baby
needs. If parents are very
tired, it is harder for
them to understand what
the baby is trying to
communicate. Also, when
parents are under a lot of
stress, understanding the
baby's cries can be very
difficult. Good parenting
is a lot of work, and
sometimes it leaves you
worn out. When you feel
like you are running low
on energy, patience, or
understanding, there are
some things you can do
that will help.
- Talk with
experienced and kind
parents.
- Get support from
people who are
understanding and
encouraging.
- Take a break by
having someone else
look after your baby
for a little while
(trade baby-sitting
for doing something
helpful for him or her
in return later).
- If you are interested in
other ideas about how to
take care of yourself as a
parent, you may want to
read another publication
in this series, Extension
Circular HE-674,
"Taking Care Of The
Parent: Replacing Stress
With Peace."
- It takes time and
patience to communicate
and understand babies. It
may be helpful to remember
that very few parents know
exactly the right thing to
do when their babies cry.
But good parents know that
taking the time to
understand their baby's
cries is a very important
step toward meeting their
baby's needs. And meeting
your infant's needs is the
first step along the path
to building a strong and
satisfying relationship
with your child.
-
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This
article is Copyright
1996 Alabama Cooperative
Extension System. All
rights reserved. The
author is Ellen
Abell, Ph.D. All
information on Slumber
Sounds is for educational
purposes only, and is
not medical or
healthcare advice, nor a
substitute for medical and
professional services from
a qualified healthcare
provider familiar with
your personal situation.
For medical advice,
including diagnosis and
treatment, consult your
physician or other
healthcare provider
regarding any condition
and before starting any
treatment. We supply this
information with the
understanding that Slumber
Sounds is not engaged in
rendering medical services
or other professional
services or advice.
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