Listening to
your baby cry and cry and not
knowing what to do can try the
patience of a saint. During the
first few weeks of life, most
infants spend increasing amounts
of time crying. At six weeks of
age, for example, crying time
tends to peak at about 2.75 hours
a day, nearly 30 percent of a
baby's waking time. This amount of
crying comes as a shock to
first-time parents, who are often
devastated by having to cope with
it all day, every day. Most of an
infant's crying occurs in the late
afternoon and early evening. By 12
weeks of age, babies are apt to
return to the more bearable one
hour a day of crying they
exhibited at one week of age.
Read on to learn
more about what your baby's
different cries mean and how you
can soothe them.
Babies use
different types of cries to
express their needs. Learning to
read a baby's cries is a skill
that all parents should acquire in
order to respond effectively to
the child's needs.
HUNGER
Hunger is the most common cause of
crying. Babies say "I'm
hungry" with a low-pitched,
rhythmic cry that repeats a
pattern of short cry, brief pause,
short cry, pause. The sound is
less shrill than other cries, and
sounds demanding rather than
desperate. This cry is often
preceded by finger sucking, lip
smacking or nudging.
TIREDNESS
The fatigue cry is a wailing sound
with a definite vibrato. This cry
gradually builds up in intensity
and often has a continuous and
nasal quality.
BOREDOM
Babies say "I'm lonely and
bored" with a cry that is
whiny and whimpering; sometimes it
almost sounds like a moan. This
cry stops abruptly when the infant
is picked up.
PAIN
This cry begins suddenly and is
high-pitched and shrill. The cry
is loud and long (as long as four
seconds), which leaves the infant
breathless. This cry is followed
by a dramatic, lengthy pause (as
long as seven seconds) as the baby
catches her breath again. The
baby's arms and legs may flail and
then jerk tensely back into the
body. This cry is nonstop and
uncontrollable.
ILLNESS
Sick babies signal their
discomfort with a prolonged cry.
The cry sounds weak, whiny and
nasal. It is generally lower in
pitch than a pain cry. The cry can
more readily be identified as a
signal of illness when it is
considered together with changes
in the baby's appearance and
behavior. The baby may have a
flushed face, appear listless,
refuse to eat, have diarrhea and
avoid cuddling.
COLIC
Colic crying is readily
identifiable because it generally
occurs like clockwork every
afternoon or evening, lasts for
several hours each time, and the
baby is not readily consolable.
IRRITABILITY
Irritable babies cry on and off
all day long and often wake crying
during the night, as well.
Soothing techniques work better
with these babies than with
colicky infants.
Babies sometimes
cry for no apparent reason. After
you've checked to see that your
baby is not tired, sick, hungry or
in pain, you'll want to try some
of these common soothing
strategies. When you do, remember
these general guidelines:
•When your
baby cries, go to him as soon as
you can. A baby who gets
"worked up" or
hysterical is much harder to
soothe.
•Try one of
the following soothing techniques
for about 10 minutes. If
unsuccessful, try another for 10
more minutes. Keep this up until
either your baby becomes calm or
you feel as if you need a break.
Then it's time to find someone
else to calm your baby or for you
to let the baby cry it out. You
must know your breaking point so
you can avoid acting out your
feelings of resentment,
frustration and hostility.
TECHNIQUES
While there is no single or sure
way to stop a baby from crying,
the following interventions have
been found to have a much higher
success rate than other
approaches.
CARRYING:
Studies indicate that babies who
are carried by a parent in his or
her arms or in a carrier for at
least three hours during the day
cry less than infants who aren't
carried as much. The warmth and
close physical proximity during
carrying is calming to your baby
and enables you to respond quickly
to his cries.
RHYTHMIC MOTION:
Many babies stop crying when in
motion. Rocking chairs, infant
swings, carriage rides, car rides
and dancing chest-to-cheek across
the floor are all comforting
motions. Some experts believe that
these repetitive, rhythmic
movements satisfy a baby's need
for predictability. Being able to
rely on what comes next--that a
chair will rock forward after it
rocks backward--seems to help a
baby feel more secure and safe.
SWADDLING: In
the womb, babies grow accustomed
to the constant feeling of
snugness and something enclosing
them, a sensation they lose at
birth when they're thrust into the
wide-open air. Swaddling--being
wrapped very tightly in a
lightweight blanket--can restore
this safe feeling, and it also
prevents arms and legs from
flailing about, which can be
startling and upsetting to
newborns.
To swaddle at
home, take one corner of a
receiving blanket and fold it down
six inches. Place the baby on the
blanket with her head above the
fold. Next, take one side of the
blanket and draw it across the
baby's body. Fold the bottom
section up over the baby's feet,
then fold the last section across
the body. Finally, turn the
swaddled baby onto her stomach. A
few weeks after birth infants may
cry harder after swaddling because
they find this confining rather
than comforting.
SOOTHING SOUND:
Babies are comforted by rhythmic,
repetitive sounds that remind them
of things they heard in the womb:
sounds of the ocean or a
waterfall, the hum of a laundry
washer or dryer, the sound of a
heartbeat or the hum of a vacuum
cleaner. Babies also like slow,
lilting music and the soft sound
of a parent's voice crooning a
lullaby.
COMFORT SUCKING:
Babies have a strong sucking urge
that is not related to their
desire for food. Their crying is
often controlled by sucking on
their fingers or fist or a
pacifier. Follow these time-tested
tips for successful pacifier use:
Give your baby a pacifier before
she reaches a screaming pitch, and
to avoid tooth decay, don't
sweeten the nipple with honey. Try
to wean your baby off the pacifier
by six months of age--a time when
the urgent sucking need is
diminished. For young babies, up
until about six months of age,
there is no need to worry about
bad habits forming from too much
sucking. On the contrary,
providing opportunities for
non-nutritive sucking for as long
as a young baby wants can reduce
crying and help the infant settle
easier at sleep time.
MASSAGE: Touch
is one of a baby's most highly
developed senses at birth.
Stroking your infant's skin can
calm the baby and help her sleep
better. A good habit is to massage
your baby from head to toe for 15
minutes once daily before bed or
at bath time. Simply pour a little
baby oil into the palms of your
hands, rub them together; then
using your fingertips, draw
circles in a rhythmic motion over
your baby's body. Don't forget his
hands, feet, face and head. Next,
hold an arm or leg, and gripping
softly with your open hand, gently
move it back and forth using long,
slow strokes.
Be sure to apply
just enough gentle pressure so
that you don't tickle. Observe
your baby for cues about whether
she likes being touched. If she
doesn't like the sensation, she'll
fuss, arch her back, breathe
harder and turn redder. Chances
are, though, she'll enjoy the
loving massage. Apart from
enjoyment, stroking the infant's
skin sends messages to the brain
to increase levels of beneficial
hormones and chemicals, including
those that help the baby absorb
food, bear pain and regulate
levels of cortisol, a stress
hormone.
CUDDLIES: Many
babies love nestling with
something soft like Mom's
nightgown, a soft blanket or a
plush toy. Typically, they don't
begin to grow attached to an
object like this and actively seek
it out until around eight months.
Prior to this age, keep a soft
object next your baby when you
cuddle with her, so she'll
associate the object with your
loving touch.
ROUTINES: A
repetitive, predictable pattern of
care may be more comforting to
your baby than any single soothing
technique. As soon as you bring
your baby home, establish a few
simple routines, like bathing at
the same time each day or hearing
the same lullaby before bedtime
each night. Being able to count on
some things day in and day out is
consoling to an infant who is
exposed to so many new things the
first year.
RELIEF HELP:
Constant crying is bound to make
you feel tense and upset. These
negative feelings are likely to be
picked up by your baby who will
cry all the more. You may be
surprised when your spouse, a
friend or a grandmother cradles
your "inconsolable" baby
and magically calms the screams.
After a break you'll feel calmer,
more refreshed and better able to
respond to your baby.
CRY IT OUT:
Babies sometimes need to cry out
inner feelings of fatigue or
tension at sleep time. This can be
a self-soothing activity for the
infant. So, if external soothing
techniques prove ineffective or
overly stimulating, consider
whether your baby just needs to
cry for a brief spell by herself
to release tension and settle
down.
Charles E. Schaefer, Ph.D., is
a professor of psychology and
director of the Crying Baby Clinic
at Fairleigh Dickinson University.
He is the author of more than 40
books, including RAISING
BABY RIGHT and HOW TO HELP
CHILDREN WITH COMMON PROBLEMS.
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